blaspheME blaspheYOU blasphEVERYBODY!

So, I feel like the world is one big pile of crap that we continually try to clean up with even dryer crap. People need to just shut up, grow up, and stop being stupid. People saying that this is wrong because a boy has on pink nail polish is just disappointing, it has re-instilled my lack of faith in humanities ability progress. Honestly people, even a "Doctor" is claiming that this will mentally damage the child, what the f***?!?! You know what'll damage a kid? adults telling him how horrible and wrong it is for him to be doing something ABSOLUTELY HARMLESS TO SOCIETY, HIMSELF, AND OTHERS with his mother. They say that this will cause gender identification issues? all you have to do is look down at your genitals to know if you're a girl or boy, any behavioral factors do not apply to gender identification, but only in gender ROLE identification. Now, living in 2011 one would expect  1950's  stereotypes to be shameful memory of a more ignorant prejudice time by now, but NO! HATRED SHALL THRIVE! Because everybody will always be somebody else's N I double GUH ER, it's the way of the world, these immature people will always find someone, somehow, someway to sh*t on. This child would most likely never have doubted himself if it weren't for jack@ss adults drawing negative attention to something unimportant he did.
        I used to be a full on crossdresser, and I knew i was a man the entire time, it actually made me more of a man, because it gave me confidence to look that way. Also, during that period of my life I had more women after me than Mick Jagger, so everything they're saying is bull5hit. Every person is different, and every person is okay, the only thing that would ever cause confusion is other people reacting so hatefully towards something harmless.

anthrax shmanthrax

 The sort of things I'm interested in include art, music, scientific theory , metaphysics, shamanism, using different technologies available to further the intellectual evolution of man,  learning about different cultures and spiritualities and philosophies and things along the lines of blatant facts of life and the way it isn't working  things like Explaining the Tenth Dimension and time travel. But I really don't think that there will ever be anyone I can talk about these things with, or at least not from my experience living in Ohio my whole life. I think that's why I don't really have a social life. It's strange that I am such an extroverted person when my favorite thing to do is get lost in my mind. I really want to live in the middle of nowhere  with nothing but my puppy : Julio. He and I will sit in the woods and roll in the flowers and contemplate the universe completely free of outside judgement. We will live as free men, Julio and I, and we will have a mystical garden where we will meet with the faeries. I just want a garden and a dog and a woods. I honestly have no other goal or desire in life, which makes everyday life in my current situation a continual draaagggg because the hoops you have to jump through all eventually lead you down a path that I have no interest in pursuing, so I feel like I'm wasting some of the best years of my 1 AND ONLY LIFE doing crap that I honestly find no value in. I hope things get better in the future, but I also feel like my whole life is going to be waiting. In grade school they told us that highschool would be better, in highschool they tell you it's okay college will be better, when that sucks they tell you life will finally start FOR REALZ THIS TIME once you're out of college, then they tell you it'll be good  once you're married (because who doesn't only want school college marriage career) then once that happens and you're stillllll not actually doing what you want they tell you you'll have free time and the ability to do what you want FOR REALS THO this time when you retire...... and now people can't retire, and by the time you do you're so old you cannot do anything because you're already deteriorated beyond the point of natural life because modern medicine refuses to let the weak die thus crowding the already overcrowded rotting planet you get to die waiting in.

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..........................I kind of write with my stream of consciousness, so have fun following my train of thought go off the rails.

Death to the infidels

      Do you have the time? I must have misplaced mine, because it seems I'm all out. I don't have the time to be a human being. There's not enough hours in the day to do anything of importance, true importance that is.
 Spending all day at school, all afternoon at work and all night catching up on homework, taxes, fixing my car, worrying about bills, worrying about money money money money money.... there's no time for me to actually live while I'm alive. How am i supposed to figure out who I really am, what I really care about, soulsearch, make real meaningful bonds with other people?  At this day and age we are more numbers, or units...than actual human beings. our professional lives have become our lives. When someone asks what you wanna do with your life they expect an occupational position to be your answer. To me this is just sad, is that all we have become? all the wondrous capabilities human beings have and this massive world we have .............we just chase money. We're rotting away at the core. It's almost like I'm looked at by others like I'm immature because I value relationships, ideas, learning, and inner peace more than i value money and material items. Adults will tell you to grow up if you don't wanna talk about finances all day, or that you will grow out of your ideals as you age, but to me these are the self justifying hollow words of someone who quit on themselves.
At one point these individuals felt similar to the way i feel, but over time they allowed society to beat it out of them and exhaust them until they rolled over and became one with the flock. I will not allow you to think for me, you barely think for yourselves.